Time Thieves

A.S.M.R.U, wasting your time? These videos have been my guilty pleasure for sometime, even though I know, ultimately, I am wasting time being unproductive. It's not as if, I am planning to make my own content and using it carefully as inspiration and advice on how to do my own videos. I love the sounds, the neatness and quickness of it all. It does also, make me want to spruce up my own rooms at an unrealistic rate. Have you ever stopped to consider how much time you spend on activities that ultimately lead to nowhere?

Reflecting on my past, I realise that the most productive period of my life coincided with a two-year hiatus from television, save for an occasional indulgence in EastEnders on iPlayer. I wondered was it luck or was I working so hard, that opportunities appeared because I was alert and ready for them. Some may say, I created them for myself. I was at the lowest point of my life and there was only one direction for me, up. I then got too comfortable and with that, my old patterns of behaviour crept back in. Before I knew it, 8 years had passed and I am not where I want to be in some aspects of my life.

I thought I would have grown to have been a much bigger entity. I had convinced myself that my life took it's direction, for a much bigger cause, and it's route would become clear if I worked hard. Truth is, I worked hard at the wrong things. I was trapped in a Finance role because I was comfortable and believed what others told me, ie it was a cushy number, I probably couldn't do any better, despite knowing that was incorrect. I told myself, as a person with no degree, that earning £50k was the most I could achieve in a career. I told myself the part time hours were needed or I couldn't be a working single Mum. My role as a Mother, became secondary and countless times, I told my kids, "In a moment", "not right now" because work was my focus and now look, teenagers, who barely speak to me! ha! I limited myself with all these things I told myself and therefore, my actions started reflecting them. I became a shadow of what I had once worked hard to almost achieve. I wasted time telling myself these negative beliefs and making poor choices in things that didn't matter anymore. I can't say, I used that time wisely.

I now know it's important to protect who you share your time with too. It doesn't matter what role that person has in your life, whether they are your neighbour, friend, or family member. Ask yourself, is this a good use of my time? That's not to be selfish and self absorbed by ignoring someone in pain, but more so, those who drain you. Those who just take and don't give back. In some instances, people also impose their own limitations on you too and you become a reflection of them. It's ok to outgrow people through this journey, at any aspect in your life. You should be growing and with that comes some sacrifices.

I also noticed, that I use my time, re watching old shows and look at old pictures as if to recreate a moment in the past and in some what disbelief that time has flown by. If I truly reflect, it's not because it was a great time at the time, but more so, a comfort in that notion, I am back there again. There is plenty of time. I wonder if that's why some people are so nostalgic? Perhaps, they struggle with the reality they have created for themselves and to get through it, is to effectively jump back in the past. Nostalgia in small doses, can be great, reminiscing about that wee time, but holding on to it, trying to recreate it. I imagine would cause more pain than pleasure.

"Time is the enemy, Time is a just structure, Time is running out, Time is pressure". These are just some of the limiting messages I have told myself over the years. I need to recondition how I see time. Now, as I approach 40, I refuse to succumb to the notion that time is an enemy or a pressure. It's merely a construct—one that I have the power to redefine. How many others, I wonder, procrastinate under the illusion that time is abundant?

In our modern world, there are countless ways in which we can unwittingly lose our precious time. From mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds, to getting lost in the abyss of binge-watching TV shows, the temptations are endless. Procrastination often rears its head, causing us to delay important tasks in favour of instant gratification or fear of failure. We find ourselves trapped in unproductive meetings that could have been emails, or attempting to multitask so much that nothing gets done efficiently. The pursuit of perfection can also lead us down a rabbit hole of diminishing returns, as we spend far too long on tasks that could be completed adequately in a fraction of the time. Gossiping and moaning become time-consuming distractions, as does the habit of aimlessly surfing the internet, clicking from one link to another without purpose. Over planning without taking action and overthinking every decision can also paralyse us, preventing progress. These are just a few examples of the various ways in which we can waste our time unwittingly, but by recognising these patterns, we can take proactive steps to reclaim our time and focus on what truly matters.

It doesn't have to start so big and overwhelming. Write down, what do you want to see in your life and then take it day by day, perhaps a time blocking priority list? A visualisation board? Setting a timer for tasks or your favourite shows/ASMR content? So there is an end to that particular action and you move on in a productive way. Chances are, you'll enjoy these activities more.

We won't regret the time spent pursuing our dreams, but we will regret squandering it on self-imposed limitations and meaningless tasks. As I reflect on my journey of time, I encourage you all to look at your own behaviours and address anything that might be standing in your way. I've embarked on a Neuro-associative conditioning programme to challenge these beliefs and pave the way for success in achieving what we truly deserve. I aim to finally combat my fear of time and turn it into my driving force for positive change.