How frustrating
I have been working on my habitual rituals. The things I do on a daily basis that are either good or bad for me, which includes self-limiting beliefs that I allow to happen. We can already establish through Self awareness what activities we do that wastes our time and energy, like procrastination for example. However, what about behaviours and emotions that dominate our thoughts and actions, so we can't focus on the things we must do. Have you ever felt trapped in cycles of behaviour that seem impossible to escape?
At the core of this struggle lies the age-old concept of pain and pleasure. We are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, yet paradoxically, we often find ourselves trapped in cycles of behaviour that bring us more harm than good. Whether it's procrastination, negative self-talk, or dwelling on past hurts, these patterns become ingrained in our psyche, making it seem difficult to avoid.
How do we break free from those critical, self-limiting thoughts? How do we recognise them? How do we become positive thinkers? What are we actually telling ourselves?
I began by breaking down my daily life by asking myself questions. What do I choose to concentrate on? What are the things I say to myself daily? How much of my time do I use for this? For example, for me, certain people set me off. I can spend hours a day, rehashing what was said and how I felt. I sometimes feel like I can't control those emotions because my brain is linking them to hurt, to pain, and to negativity. The habitual emotions that are formed from my ritual are frustration and anger and I live there because I am not interrupting that pattern. It's frustrating because I feel I can't escape it and therefore, I relive it constantly. If this is something that sounds familiar and you are trying to get over this habit, maybe if appropriate, focus on good memories with people who have hurt you. Only if they are still in your lives for example, and you need to move past what's happened.
Another habitual ritual could be what you say to yourself. "Nothing I say is worthwhile", the consequence for this, is you never speak up. It could be "I have to be perfect" and therefore you don't try things that you don't know for fear of messing it up; or you try but beat yourself up if it doesn't go quite right because you held it to an unrealistic standard. These are toxic traits, and do you more harm in the long run, because they become your habitual rituals. Your mindset requires full attention and continuous effort if you plan to recondition it.
However, there are various reasons why someone might struggle to break that pattern—perhaps due to familiarity, comfort, or the perceived difficulty of change. For myself, I simply hadn't recognised how much harm it was causing. I hadn't accepted I was doing this to myself. I was focusing on the hurt people caused me rather than growing from the experience, therefore not allowing it to harm me anymore.
Self awareness is the first part but the best solution for me, is to change my emotional state and that can be done by either consciously spinning things to a positive emotion or by breaking my physical state at that time. Once that self-limiting belief creeps in, regardless of its trigger, I stop entertaining it.
Furthermore, I have started playing a game I call Mental Baseball. This approach involves actively intercepting negative thoughts as soon as they arise and redirecting them in a positive direction.
Join me in my game, Oh I see a negative thought arising, I am beginning to get frustrated and angered. I take the thought from my head without judgement, form it as a ball, throw it up and hit the negativity out of the park. It's gone and I can continue my day by reaffirming something nice in its replacement. Practice and repetition are key, so I keep at it. After all, I am the creator of my emotions, I take back control in this way, and nobody else controls that. The old saying is true, to allow someone to have that control of you, especially if you dislike them, is to hand over power. We have the power and never feel bad if something negative enters your head, just redirect it away.
In addition, another tip would be to write down a list of positive things you know to be true but habitually you haven't focused on yet. After all, we as humans tend to focus more naturally on the negativity of a situation. Then, tell yourself those things as many times as you want a day. I have written mine down and carry it in card form everywhere I go. A tip my husband gave me!
Time allocation for things like procrastination was great advice from Tony Robbins, he goes on to mention, everyone procrastinates, sometimes with fun activities, but try and prioritise that and do it later.
However, I know breaking free from self-limiting thoughts is not always easy. It requires courage, perseverance, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. It means accepting responsibility for our own happiness and refusing to let external circumstances dictate our emotional states.
In conclusion, in my own journey, I've learned that the key to lasting change lies in creating positive habitual rituals. Each interception of a negative thought, each swing of the Mental Baseball bat, brings us closer to a mindset of resilience and empowerment. Less frustration for me. These are the daily practices that nourish our minds, and bodies, helping us to become resilient and build inner strength. Whether it's going for a run, walk, spending time in nature, or writing, these new behaviours remind us of our inherent power to shape our own paths. Let us commit to being our own cheerleaders, supporting ourselves through every challenge and celebrating every victory, no matter how small.
