Beyond Self and Putting Things into Perspective
2023 was a difficult year for many reasons, and I knew all too well it could escalate to the point of no return. I was determined not to be defeated by the challenges life threw at me, and I knew, despite my pain, there was someone else out there in a much worse situation than mine.
I grew up thinking I was destined for something much bigger than what my life had shown me. Perhaps jaded by the view that it would contain glitz and glamour, but with a lack of obvious skills that could catapult me to stardom, I was left wondering where I could share the gifts I did have. Yes, I could be a hero in my own narrative, but there must be more to it.
The good thing about going through hardship is you become more aware of others' suffering; you become a beacon of hope and determination and have the ability to extend empathy to others when they are in need. Throughout my life, I have often adopted the role of an agony aunt. When I was younger, my ignorance made me think others' problems seemed easy, and giving advice to them was natural, as I thought if I could go through this, they can go through that.
The reality as I grew up and met more people in need was not this, and it challenged me to realise that pain is pain, hurt is hurt, and it's not the circumstances that break a person but how we deal with these issues. There is no one cure. I have been fortunate at times and have had supportive people to get me through, and at times, I had to muster my own strength. I do believe we all have strength in us, and we just need to access help to channel it.
I started looking at things differently last year. How can something so sad be used in a positive way to help others? The obvious way to me was to highlight the cause and issues I experienced, but I've done that in the past, and after that high has gone, then what? I wanted to grow as a person from the obstacles of last year and put things into perspective by helping others.
Throughout my life, I have helped out with charities, and I have always expressed a desire to help build and encourage people to a high level of confidence and self-esteem. It not only gave me joy to help others in a way I helped myself, but to see them with hope that they can achieve things.
Pain is a complex and subjective experience and can be triggered by a variety of physical, psychological, social, and cultural aspects. It sometimes needs medical intervention, mentoring, counselling, more trauma, and time to heal from it, but what I realised is that psychological pain and the scars don't just go away. You learn to live with it. Sometimes, it hurts more than on some days, and sometimes, you are fine.
There are so many people out in the world in pain who are suffering, and I want to help them. I am blessed with a somewhat healthy body, and I have never worked with people who are suffering from illness, and yet, I know of people who have been affected by illness. What can I possibly do to help someone, I asked myself. Well, I could give them myself and my time, so they can share their story, voice, feelings, and fears, and I could just be there for them and listen. So many of us talk without purpose or the intention to have a two-way conversation; some of us mask what we are feeling with non filtered words, and that's OK but this can give people a chance to speak without judgement. This would be their time. Life can throw such big challenges that sometimes you just need emotional support from someone, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I want to be there for someone.
I have undertaken roles with Hestia and a local food bank in the past, but this time, I signed up to be a volunteer buddy with Macmillan Cancer Charity. I thought I knew what cancer involved, but I didn't. I had no idea how many types of cancer there are and what treatments were available. The extensive and thorough training equips volunteers to support others and I also have someone at Macmillan whom I can go to if I have any concerns or questions, and that has been invaluable.
Reflecting on my involvement with Macmillan Cancer Charity, I've come to appreciate the profound impact that volunteering can have on both individuals and communities. While I can't share specific stories due to confidentiality, I've been humbled by the opportunity to offer support and companionship to cancer patients during some of their most challenging moments. Through my experience, I've gained valuable insights into the resilience and strength of those facing serious illness, and I've learned the importance of empathy, active listening, patience, and simply being present for others. Moreover, I've reminded myself of the power of laughter in darker moments and how this can be a great skill at the appropriate times, to uplift someone's spirits.
Volunteering with Macmillan has reinforced my belief in the power of human connection and the transformative potential of compassion. It's a privilege to be able to contribute in a small way to such a meaningful cause, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. I encourage anyone who has the time and willingness, to consider getting involved with organisations like Macmillan, as the impact of even an hour a week can be immeasurable in providing comfort, hope, and support to those in need.
Saying goodbye at the end of a service is always tough. You've built a real connection with those you've been supporting, and while boundaries are crucial, it doesn't make it any easier to part ways. I always make sure to wish them all the best for the future, with genuine hopes that life will take a turn for the better. It's comforting for them to know that support will still be there if they ever need it, offering a glimmer of light in their darkest moments. Ultimately, finding peace in their own journeys is what I hope for them the most.
Futhermore, by immersing myself in the service of others, I inadvertently embarked on a journey of self-healing. Through the act of giving, I found solace and purpose amidst my own struggles. Rather than dwelling solely on my own challenges, I channelled my energy into alleviating the pain of others, discovering a sense of fulfilment and empowerment in the process. While some expressed concerns about my decision to engage in such endeavours after a difficult year, I knew my strengths, and one of them is being there for others.
In times of adversity, it's easy to become consumed by our own struggles and lose sight of the bigger picture. While 2023 tested my resilience in ways I never imagined, it also served as a reminder of the inherent strength we all possess and the capacity for growth that lies within challenges. By shifting my focus from my own pain to the suffering of others, I discovered a newfound sense of purpose and empathy. Volunteering with organisations like Macmillan Cancer Charity has been instrumental in this process, allowing me to witness firsthand the courage and resilience of individuals facing life-threatening illnesses.
Through these experiences, I've learned that while our struggles may feel overwhelming at times, they are just one chapter in the larger narrative of our lives. By embracing empathy, gratitude, and a broader perspective, we can find meaning and purpose even in the midst of adversity, and use our own experiences to uplift and support others on their journey. More importantly, it has fuelled me to do more for others and not be so consumed with my own life, thus creating meaning and purpose for myself. Not only do I see others, I finally see myself too.
I found this beautiful quote, that I'd like to share:
"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost" - Arthur Ashe
